I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
