Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
