drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize