If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
