His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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