Are we in a gay sports bar?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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