Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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