So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
