My first STD was from a foam party
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
