I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
