Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
