This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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