Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
