he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
