I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woke up backwards on a recliner
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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