i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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