you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
