And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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