i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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