We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I could fuck to npr.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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