sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
