yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
