My first STD was from a foam party
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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