It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
