they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
