We won't sleep together?
we have officially lost it.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize