I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
