Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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