You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
