I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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