I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
In America we eat man semen.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
