Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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