great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
