No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
