shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
