Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize