You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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