With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
