i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
