OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
