Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize