we're blogging at a bar
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
