im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
