so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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