yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
