my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
