I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize