and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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