Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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