he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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