Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
