Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
