i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
