glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
