some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
