So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
