Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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