i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
