Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
