quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
