oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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