when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
