My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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