You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
